Creative parenting

I am sure we all come across those moments when creative parenting is necessary. When all odds are stacked against you and you pray that your kids will be happy instead of winy and you work really hard to make them happy. Elliot is definitely feeling better and no longer sick, but we're in the middle of potty training. Erik is still very sick and lethargic and demands a lot of attention and is very jealous of the extra attention his brother is receiving at the moment. So odds were stacked against me today, but I survived and I prevailed and the kids were happy all morning so I win this round.

The first step is putting away my computer and phone completely. I didn't look at it except a few times, since a good friend of mine gave birth today I had to check a little bit! Besides those emails I sat down on the ground and really played with my kids. My first step was bringing out puzzles which Erik loves at the moment. He can sit for a long time by himself working on one, although he asks for a lot of help he doesn't need. In the meantime I can work with Elliot and every time Erik has a puzzle Elliot has to have one too.

Its so funny in how different these boys are from one another. Even at Elliot's age Erik could sit for a long time and focus on his puzzle. He sometimes would dump out all his puzzles on the ground and then challenge himself to figure out where it all went back. Elliot completely different. He loves taking the pieces out, but doesn't enjoy putting them back. He loves taking them out of several puzzles at once. When he finally does fit in a piece himself, he claps every time. Love that kid!

So in the end we have 6 neatly put together puzzles from Erik and one giant puzzle mess from Elliot. Both very unique in their approach.

There were just so many little things I did today to keep these guys happy and engaged today. One of our other projects is that I made homemade playdough. I had four colors and when I told them all to Erik he choose pink, so we now have pink playdough.

 

 

A 21 month old's approach to playdough.

I decided to simply my life and my organization and contamination problems by just having a couple sippy cups. I decided to get the Klean Kanteen cups, yellow for Erik and blue for Elliot. No confusion, no contamination. It seems to really be working, but I want to give it a week before I ditch the old cups to make sure these guys will really drink water from their new cups. So far I really like them even if they are a bit expensive.

I don't have pictures of everything we did this morning. We played outside for a bit, Elliot wanted out but Erik wanted inside. Elliot follows Erik and vice versa so when Erik went in we stayed there. Honestly it is easier for me to watch Elliot with the potty inside. Then we played a few games, Erik kept begging me to play Chutes and Ladders or Candyland, but Elliot would be left out and I couldn't watch him well and play the game so we compromised. Everyone played Lucky Ducks instead. We scrounged through the toys boxes and brought out lost friends. We read lots and lots of books. Then Elliot asked for the tunnel. This is when the kids burned off the last of that energy before nap. Elliot really needed to burn it off since his brother is low key today and he isn't. So wrestle mania began. Although there is a lot of refereeing I like when my boys wrestle. It is great bonding for them and they laugh hysterically the entire time. Someone always gets minorly hurt, but such is the life of a boy or really any toddler/ preschooler.

Last but not least here is the boys new snack spot. Daddy yelled at me today for allowing it to happen and the crumb mess so it looks like the fun needs to end soon, but it was good while it lasted boys.

Potty training, the true test day

I remember when Erik started going to preschool all the mom's said the true test of how he likes preschool isn't the first day of school, it is the second. I had the same trepidation about today. Potty was new and exciting to Elliot yesterday, but now that the newness has worn off would we have the same type of success or would be start rebelling.

The morning started off fine. Carl tried to convince me to put pants on him so I did. It was cold this morning so I felt bad about him being naked from the waist down. We had a very wet and poopy diaper this morning so I didn't expect anything for a while. I can't remember if he went potty before we headed downstairs, but I tried.

Well we ate breakfast, played for a bit and it was turning into a gorgeous day so we headed outside. I think I might have brought him to the potty, I don't remember accidents so either he went or held it. Doesn't matter really. Then I made the classic mistake. While they were playing outside I needed to schedule some appointments for Erik and got on the phone. When I was distracted, I actually saw it happening, a pee accident in the pants. I was sunny enough that the pants went off and we just stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon. I am wondering if it is an outside distracted thing or a pants thing. Need to test my theory tomorrow.

I won't go into the details about when he went and how many times, but he never had an accident the entire morning. Well not completely true, he is not going #2 in the potty, but isn't afraid to go. I just don't think he understands the sensation yet so its taking a little longer. See he runs to the potty when he knows he needs to go #2. I watched it happened, but he won't sit long enough to let it happen. Then he'll have a mistake off the potty. Maybe in a few days or a few week he'll get it, but I am not worried because he show signs of trying it.

   

Elliot is really into the process of going potty. He loves to pick up the potty, dump it and then wash his hands afterwards. He demands to do every step almost every time. I just let him even if it gets messy because I want him to be enthusiastic about the process and feel like he has control, not me. Afterwards he gets one cookie, and its not really a cookie, but I learned my lesson about going for the super sugary candy too soon. If he is fine with these I'd rather give him that then 20 m&ms a day like it ended up being with Erik at times.

 

At this point I am pretty sure we are at the point of no return. As a matter of fact when Erik was at this point I called him potty trained. I think once we get #2 down I'll officially say that. The highlight from today is when I left to run some errands and Carl was watching the boys. He said Elliot left the room himself, sat on the potty and then demanded a cookie. All by himself. So we're there. I am sure we'll have some set backs and some occasional accidents especially since I am training him so young, but since he got it so quickly so early I am going to go with it. I don't think I will take him out in public until this weekend. I did buying pullups and underwear to start working on. I just want to make sure tomorrow he is 100% there before I put underwear into the equation. Just shows you each child is insanely different and with how challenging Erik was to potty train, it is nice to have a little break.

Potty training already?

I vowed after my disaster of potty training Erik that I would wait until Elliot was well into his second year before I even considered the idea of potty training. Then he just started being his own person and doing things to make me change my mind. He was showing all the tell tale signs by pulling down his pants himself, telling me he has poop before he goes, and holding his pee for long periods, also he has a strong interest in the potty and every time I go or Erik goes he sits in there to visit.

Today Elliot's cold is on the way out, but we were stuck at home because Erik got sick almost 4 days later and was feverish yesterday. So spontaneously I thought, why not try it today. If he reacts like Erik did when I did this process of introducing the potty, then I will quit, but if he seems to take to it than yay for me. It was 9 am when I decided this so I had a whole day to try. So we headed downstairs for snack, I got Erik involved in the process and we took off Elliot's pants.

I decided to just give him juice, water, crackers, whatever he will eat or drink today so he just needs to go potty. I explained to Erik that Elliot was getting extra juice because he was learning to use the potty and Erik was really excited about the idea of helping his brother. So the journey began.

Luckily for me Elliot reacted completely different to the potty. I remember telling Erik our potty phrase "Erik pee pee goes in the potty so let me know if you need to go potty" and him being so stressed every time I said it. Then when he would start to have an accident and I would take him to the potty and he refused to sit down, but I was reading a book and going with that style and inflexible because I didn't know I could be and things with Erik got worse. Also Erik was a holder and would hold his pee for hours, like 4 hours at times. This made it really hard to catch mistakes when he wasn't having any mistakes. Regardless he is potty trained now, so we did get there although potty is still a weapon for him.

Today with Elliot a completely different experience. Almost immediately he leaks and I take him to the potty to show him how to go. He tries, doesn't get it, but the thought is registering. Then he gets up goes poop on the ground when I went to the other room to clean the mess. So I immediately put him back on the potty he finishes up by going pee and a little poop and doesn't freak out. As a matter of fact he is excited by the idea.

The rest of the afternoon he plays has a few accidents, I am trying to load him up on water and juice so he goes again. He finally goes a second time and does it all in the potty. Then we head outside. At this point he is really starting to get stressed. If he leaks a little he is noticing and getting upset at himself. At one point he was standing in his wagon and had an accident and got so mad. I just calmly brought him to the potty to explain where pee went and we were happy again. When he did have a small pee at one point during the late morning I quickly switch from my no reward philosophy to giving him a little "cookie" as a reward. After that he was a little more enthusiastic.

I think Elliot's cold is on the way out because he napped for almost 3.5 hours today and I had to wake him up. I think it actually accounted for his moodiness about the potty. He was just tired and cranky and having a hard time processing it.

Well after nap I just had success after success with this little guy. (no pictures because it was too dark). He woke up with a dry diaper so I knew it was coming and we played in his brothers room. A little leak and then a huge pee in the potty. He did it and I was so proud of him. Afterwards we headed downstairs for playtime, reward and more potty. Erik was excited because their new sippy cups arrived and I explained to him that the more we got Elliot to drink water the more he would go pee and the more we could practice. So all afternoon either Erik or I kept handing Elliot his new cup to drink and we got a lot of opportunities. I honestly am not sure if he was excited about potty or the reward and praise he was getting by going potty, but he kept trying. I actually hardly had to bring him to the potty downstairs because he wasn't leaking anymore. Then the more amazing thing happened. When Elliot was playing in the kitchen he said "potty" and then headed to the bathroom and went all by himself. HUGE for day one of training. I don't think Erik did that until MONTHS after I started the process. Then the other huge moment was when we were eating dinner and Elliot was squirming and I asked him if he need to go potty. He tried once, nothing. Then he was still squirming so he tried again and Eureka, a pretty big one. After that potty he didn't even ask for a cookie, just went back to his dinner.

diaperless during the day very very soon. Holding my breath for the next few days now.

Chalking it up

I think so often about those memories in childhood, the ones you really remember are small moments you share a special activity with your parents. I always remember spending weekend days with my dad alone when it was my turn. I also remember the one day my mom told me I could cook myself. I got to choose the meal I wanted, sweet and sour pork. Then we picked out a recipe bought all the ingredients and cooked it. I can't remember if it was any good, but I remember very vividly sharing that moment with my mother.

As a mom the same things happen, there are so many special moments I share with my kids that just stick with me. This weekend, not caught on film, I was sitting with Erik drawing. With his own hand I showed him how he could make a smiley face in the circle. He was amazed by this process and made about 10 of these "faces" with all different emotions.

Today we were outside using up the last bit of sun available to us when Elliot start drawing with chalk. I told Erik and Elliot to lay down and I would trace their bodies. Elliot didn't get it, but Erik thought the idea was fantastic. Then he asked to trace my body.

Erik

Mommy

Then I reminded Erik about those faces we drew a couple days ago and told him to draw a face on the outline. He knew exactly where to draw the face and was happy to cooperate.

  

  

He drew a happy face and a sad face today.

I love that when he is drawing these faces he has to stretch out his legs in order to concentrate.

Then he had to test of the outline and remind himself of how it fit.

Elliot tried to play, but mostly found driving around the chalk in his dump truck was a lot more fun.

Rainy days are here and never going away

Last month there was a record rain fall here in Southern California and it continues. I usually spend so much of my time outdoors that I am not sure what to do with myself in 40 degree temps and cold rain. It is definitely out of my norm.

Erik just went through a growth spurt and officially grew out of his 3T size. So when I put all of those clothes away I realized how few winter shirts and pants we had for him. So shopping we went and in the process I finally got Erik his rain boots. He picked them out himself, his favorite color yellow.

Now we can officially play in the rain without me freaking out and worrying about them getting their tennis shoes soaked. Elliot is wearing Erik's rain gear from last year, it still a size too big in the feet and jacket but it is doing the job for now.

My kids were stuck inside a house or mall or car all of yesterday so today I decided to send them outside for a bit in their rain gear. I did this with Erik last year and he had so much fun splashing in the puddles. This year completely different. Our backyard has new meaning and new purpose as we redid it. So today what happened was complete confusion. Erik says to me "Mommy everything is wet, we can't play" I told him he had new rain boots on and to go splash in some puddles. He tried it a couple of times.

In the meantime Elliot wandered around in the sprinkling rain completely confused on where to be or what to do and just frowned and walked around. Even my hint to splash in a puddle didn't cheer this guy up. In his defense he is starting to get sick today.

  

  

I did get these boys to pose for one cute rainy day picture that is probably soon going to go on my wall.

Here is Erik begging me to go inside because he didn't understand how he could play in the rain when all of his toys are wet. He is a total ham today.

So rainy day play attempt was a failure, but later when I took out the bikes in the front yard, bikes that were dry, they played and burned it all off. Moral, don't give up after the first failure.

Welcome 2011; I am excited to see you

I have been trying to think all day of what my resolutions are and I have always been a girl big on resolutions. They usually involve exercising more and organizing better. I loose both battles every year. I think a better way for me to look at this year is inside myself and if I am happy there then the outside will work itself out. So my resolutions are to be a more attentive mother and be in the moment with my children and away from my electronic devices a bit less. I also resolve to find better balance in my life, balance as a wife, mother and to myself. 

This last year has been a good year for me. I remember last year feeling overwhelmed and unbalanced and a bit out of control. It was almost like I was on a rocket heading for a big disaster. I slowed down, started smelling the roses and focusing a bit more on myself in the last year. With that came better patience as a mother and I was not as grumpy or out of control. It also helps that my baby no longer was a baby, but a toddler who could be a bit more independent.

I want to start 2010 by letting myself know what I am proud of for last year. The first thing I am very proud of is that I improved my relationship with my oldest. He is only 3 years old, but there was a long time there where he and I were battling everyday and I knew it needed to stop. When you want change sometimes it is better to look at how you parent yourself and not how the child behaves. I read a great book to put it all in perspective for me, "Raising a Strong Willed Child," and I changed my ways. As a result he knows the limits and although he pushes them constantly I am no longer a screaming banshee and he knows what the consequence will be for his actions. He feels safe knowing he can push, but also knowing when he pushes too far. This is why consistent discipline is so important because it gives him a better understanding. I am in no way saying I am perfect and it will always be a constant learning curve with him, but I now understand better that to achieve change you have to look inwards.

In the balance department I am still working on it. Carl seems to think balance means going out more and taking more weekend trips with friends. I think everyone has their own idea of what it means to them. Although I would like more time away from my children, I do feel comfortable finding this in different forms. I started practicing yoga again regularly which really helps me in the grumpy and happy factor. I also have learned to let my creative diva out. This is a big one for me.

For years I have been bottling it, taking pictures maybe blogging a bit, uploading them and hoping people would look occasionally. I found inspiration from this woman Kellee Hampton and her blog. She is insanely creative and her vision spoke to me. Not as a form of imitation, but as a way to let my own creative diva out that was sitting in hibernation. So I started just taking pictures and letting ideas form and the more I worked on it the more I liked it and the more it became vital to who I was everyday. I no longer sat in front of the tv during the boys nap, I had to get on the computer and write and create and if I couldn't create I was grumpy. You might not like my ideas, pictures, or think I am very creative but I am putting myself out there and tgoing for it. That counts for something.

As I have always said I am better with pictures than words so I want to remind you and myself of some of my favorite moments from 2010.

January - Being in the moment with my family and slowing down to just enjoy the details.

February - Taking a moment to spend time with my husband even if the conditions weren't perfect and we were in Southern California and not Utah.

March - Catching up with an old friend I hadn't seen since college, but who has always been dear to my heart!

April - Visting Palm Springs for my birthday!

April - My baby turning 1!

May - A visit from an old friend we don't see nearly enough.

May - Erik's first parade.

June - Learning how to walk.

July - The boys get a brand new swing set and our lifestyle completely changes.

August - Spending our vacation at Lake Sundog, our family's magical place.

September - My oldest starts preschool and is no longer my baby. He is making friends without mommy.

September - One of our favorite families, the Kantowski's come to visit.

September - A weekend away in Napa.

October - Wine tasting in Santa Ynez with my favorite brother and sister-in-law.

October - The cutest Buzz Lightyear and Woody ever made.

November - Spending time with family.

December - Celebrating winter and the holidays.