A Question I Must Ask

Its been a long time since I have posted on this blog. Pretty much from the time I got pregnant with my third child and now almost 4 years later here I am with a new blog finally.

I wanted to start blogging again, not for anyone out there to read or to brag or to confuse anyone with more ideas and opinions or fake news. There really are a million blogs out there these days so why is mine important really? What I want to do is catalog my journey and how I am trying to live a deliberate life and how it is going to affect different parts of this journey. This is for myself, but if you happen to read it and it inspires you please continue reading.

One of the things that I have been thinking about lately is how much I consume. I might buy used items a lot and I am constantly on resale sites buying and selling, but that isn't my only problem. Every 1.5-3 years I have been getting a new to me car, I think since my oldest was born I have own 6 different cars and he is only 9 years old. I have this constant need for new things and to feel the thrill of that new thing. I am telling myself, 2017 I am going to stop this trend in myself and start living deliberately.

Now this can mean so many things to so many people. For me its going to manifest in the form of minimalism and making conscience decisions about what I consume in my life. Although Carl and I have talked about purchasing a minivan because we love the new Pacifica Hybrid, I said, lets hold off on that idea. Let's experience more and consume less and its my new moto.

The first phase of this is probably food consumption. Years ago the waste of my family drove me crazy and the lack of plans for dinners and eating out and the amount of money we were spending on something that was so preventable with a little bit of planning. About 4 years ago I started meal planning and writing lists and getting myself together in the kitchen. This is great in two ways. It limits duplicate purchases and my cabinets and fridge are almost empty at the end of the week. I also signed up for a website called www. realplans.com which helps me find creative meals for my family and creates shopping lists for me. I don't use it every week, but its been helpful in cutting down waste.  These is what I feel I am doing right, so now its on to the next step.

Meal plan for this week

My cabinet on grocery shopping day

I just watched the documentary "Minimalism" and let me tell you I was inspired. I think to a certain extent I have always been a minimalist by nature, be is because I grew up poor and couldn't have much or just because its my nature, I see similar tendencies in my oldest child. That being said, I remember a conversation with my best friend about 20 years ago as I was getting a job, getting a house, and just moving up in my life. I can remember saying to her that I hope the need for the next best thing and the need to consume doesn't get to me and I hope I can stay true to my poor routes and the lessons I learned growing up as I did.

Here we are 20 years later and I am not sure if I have to been true to myself. I am now a stay-at-home mom of three wonderful boys and the need to consume as soon as I had those babies got to me. I needed the latest baby gadget, the latest baby wrap, the perfect diaper bag and it just went on from there. Soon whole websites were created for me to get the best item at 30% off and I was buying. Clothes, bags, toys, you name it I was getting it. Soon I learned my lesson and stopped looking at all those websites, but I still didn't quite get it yet.

As the main shopper in the house I am at Target and Costco a lot. Especially when I was buying diapers for my three kids. Clothes at these places are so accessible. So I would stop by get some diapers, buy a bra, buy a new pair of sweats, buy a tank top. What I wasn't doing is buying deliberately and buying quality. So much of these items getting purchased were worn a couple time often they didn't fit well and I just kept it. What I wasn't asking myself enough is what purpose does this item serve and do I really NEED this item. Money is easy for my family so I kept buying.

So when I watched this documentary I started a discussion on Facebook. During this discussion my husband pointed out my shopping problem and he was right to do so. I was getting a handle on food waste and basking in my new found organization, but I have been reading those articles on disposable clothing, I have been reading about capsule wardrobes, I have been reading the 33 project, but I thought that isn't me. I love fashion, I love bags, I love shoes, I NEED these things. But then I thought back to just last December. For one ski trip I bought 3 new pairs of boots, 2 new plaid shirts, 4 sweaters and 2 pair of jeans. This is the just the clothing I bought for myself. I haven't worn the 3 boots really, I like my old pair better, I am donating the two plaid shirts because they were a bad fit and the sweaters and jeans I am wearing daily. The plaid shirts were $5 at Ross. No skin off my nose for one purchase right?

Then I took a closer look at what my spending sprees were doing to my closet. It was getting so bad I couldn't even hang up all the clothes I owned, my closet is HUGE in this new house, but somehow I was letting my stuff own me and decided it was time for change. So today was the big purge.

First of all here is a picture of my before closet. It was a mess and I am an organization person. It was actually embarrassing how badly this had gotten out of control.

This is my "dresser" I had taken my underwear out for this picture, but clearly I'm spilling out of this whole thing.  

Dresses and short sleeve shirts

Long sleeve shirts and jackets

So my first project was to tackle my "dresser" area and figure out why it was such a mess. My first project was underwear. Let me tell you I have been pregnant 7 times in the last 10 years, between all the miscarriages, pregnancies and nursing my body has changed a lot. My closet reflects these changes. I was unwilling to let go of what my body was and accept what my body has become and a lot of my clothes I was holding on to reflected what I wanted to become.

Inventory of my dresser:

Item	Total	Removed	Remaining
Underwear	45	32	13
Tank tops	21	8	13
Nightwear	9	1	8
Jeans	13	3	10
Slacks	4	0	4
Workout Pants	18	7	11
Leggings	3	2	1
Sentimental Shirts	7	3	4
Shorts	17	8	9
Bras	17	10	7
Bathing Suits	5	1	4

In total I removed 75 items from my dresser alone. Now a lot of these items I owned for many years, but I am ashamed to admit that many of these items I bought and never wore and intended to either loose weight and wear or I purchased without trying on and then it sat in my closet. I removed so many items that I only needed two of these "dressers" and can used one for hats. If I had these hats organized I would have discovered I already owned two ski caps already instead of purchasing a new one when I went to Colorado this year!

This is where I need to live a life deliberate. I am starting fresh. Before I buy an item I am going to ask myself, will I really use this item or will it add to the waste and is just building up in our landfills?

New an improved dresser

Next was my closet. Here is tricky. I got myself into a bit of a bind last year. I told myself I didn't have time to go shopping anymore for personal clothes that are quality so I joined Stitch Fix. All Stitch Fix made me do is want to add one of two pieces I didn't need every couple months. I mean I did find some gems that I wear a lot, but so as to not waste my $20 styling fee I always bought something whether I liked it or not. Remind me to not do that again... Its just as bad as those discount sites I got so addicted too.

Item	Total	Removed	Remaining
Short Shirts	52	28	24
Long Sleeve Shirts	73	29	44
Dresses	35	8	27

In total I removed 65 items and am amazed at the closet space I have. I have more hangers than clothes now where I had more clothes than hangers before I started this process today.

Shirts sitting on my suitcases because I ran out of hangers and just set them there. 

Some of the extra hangers in my closet after this process

Just as a synopsis I removed 140 items today, but I still own 179 items. That is a long way from the 33 that people discuss. I have a long way to go and its hard emotionally to separate from some of these items. I couldn't ditch my college sweatshirt I never wear, or my honeymoon shirt, of my Phish concert t-shirt I will never wear again. On the other side I could easily get rid of the 4 softball shirts I owned for teams I don't play on anymore, or the shirts I haven't worn in 2 years. 

Some things I learned about myself while trying to get down to more of a minimal wardrobe. Daily I really only grab for about 5 items. I know right now capsule or a 33 wardrobe isn't my next step, but I will ask myself a question of what purpose this item adds to my life and what value does it add before buying it. Like my water bottle collection, when is there enough? Before this I was a multiple shopper. For Carl's Christmas party this year my 2 year old was acting up, I was in a really inexpensive dress store and I couldn't decide. I bought 2 dresses one of which I still haven't worn yet. I have so many stories of purchasing and not wearing and this is where I am going to try and make a change. I know minimalism is a process and even 1 year ago when were were getting ready for our big move I got rid of half my wardrobe and I really wish I got those numbers because it was probably in the 500s!. My stuff is getting smaller and smaller and I am accepting that this will be a process, but I am going to continue to ask myself how will this item impact my wallet and our environment and my life. So this is a reminder to myself to be deliberate and not let the easy consumerism get in the way of experiences and a life well lived. 

After pictures of my shirts

After picture of long sleeve shirts