My little brother, my protector

Every Monday for the last couple months Erik has had soccer practice. Then because you can't deny a kid his friends because his little brother needs to make a nap, we stay an extra 20-30 minutes and I let the boys play at the playground with all of their friends. Its very sweet because one of Erik's friends from preschool is there during soccer and I get to witness how their friendship is growing every week from seeing each other a little extra.



Well today per our usual, all the boys headed to the playground right after their soccer practice and Erik and Elliot headed straight for the stairs. There was another boy up there, I am guessing about a year older than Erik, on the jungle gym. I am noticing this with older boys and Erik, they like to be bossy and control him. It makes Erik upset and he starts getting mad or sad. It actually has happened twice now with aggressive boys and I am still learning the best way to deal with this behavior.

When this was happening today, I was watching very closely to make sure Erik responded appropriately and that the boy doesn't try something too aggressive. Elliot was standing right next to Erik witnessing the whole verbal exchange. What was happening is that Erik was holding two sticks and the child was trying to communicate to Erik that he wanted them, but Erik didn't want to give them up and the other child was being very persistent in wanting them. What happened next is what shocked me and made me write this.

Here, is my two year old, who looks up to his big brother and loves him dearly and doesn't know how to control his emotions yet. All he see's is his brother being bullied a bit and then his brother yelling back. I was just about to run up on the jungle gym to interfere with the two boys when all of a sudden, Elliot start hitting the other boy. I could tell immediately Elliot was doing it to protect Erik. Although hitting wasn't an appropriate response and I made him apologize to the little boy, inside I was smiling a bit and this is why. My boys love each other so much, that when something was happening to his older brother, Elliot's first instinct was to protect him. I remember feeling like this as a kid and protecting my little brother and sister without thinking about the risk to myself. I would threaten boys twice my size just to make sure my siblings were safe.

I had actually forgot about this incident at the park and went on with my routine of the day, but when we got home Erik really caught on to the words I used with Elliot. When Elliot hit I said, "Elliot I know you were protecting your brother, but it is not ok to hit this boy so I need you to tell him your sorry." When we were reading book for Elliot's nap Erik couldn't stop saying to his brother, "Elliot I love you so much and I want to protect you and keep you safe. Its my job to protect you."

Now I don't want Erik to bear the burden of being his brother's keeper and protector, but I do want them to love and watch out for each other. Secretly I smile to myself, but I know this was the first in a long battle of the boys versus other children in their life. Also to disclaim, the mother of the aggressive child instantly came over there with me and watched how her son was acting and made sure he behaved. I love it when parents get it and don't tune out to their child's actions even when they are with friends at the park.