Well before our information meeting and a few conversations this week I would say I was leaning towards a bonus year. It was his teacher's recommendation last October and why not give him an extra year to play, that sounds kind of fun. The $750 month bill for Erik and Elliot both in preschool at the same time didn't sound nearly as attractive.
Every person I talk to gives me a different opinion or a different suggestion. Some say definitely give him a bonus year because he is a boy and it is better if you wait a year. Some say, send him to the bonus year program and if he's ready skip him to first grade. Then there are other's who say start him and then transfer in a month if he isn't doing well, or hold him back a year. Others like my mother in law, say he'll be board if you keep him back and he needs to advance. Another opinion, if you hold him back he'll definitely be the oldest kid, almost no one holds back August kids. Then I say to myself, if the cut off was September 1st instead of November 1st I would probably hold him back. In reality this is just a birthday numbers game, what is the difference? Then other say, I was 4 when I went to kindergarten. That is the worse comment of them all because kindergarten is academic and very different than when me or my peers went.
So with all these different points of view it leaves me in the middle. Last month I was leaning more towards bonus year, but after going to the information meeting yesterday I am more towards sending him. Here is the truth. I am signing him up for both and giving him the best shot he has to go to kindergarten next year.
I decided with all these conversations around Erik I had to be honest with him. It was impossible to keep this decision from him. So I told him if he starts practicing his writing, working with glue and scissors and sitting still for projects he can probably go next year. If he isn't interested, then we will give him a bonus year so he can have more time to play. Besides the money, the amount of time he is in school is exactly the same.
Interesting enough putting the power in his hands is a strong motivator for him. He is nowhere near ready, but it doesn't start for another 8 months, and 4 year olds boys are suppose to be bouncing off the walls. Honestly ever since I had this conversation with him, it might be developmental, it might be desire, it might be timing, but he is working more on projects and really putting in the effort.
This morning I decided to stay home with the boys and have more of a learning morning and Erik did stickers for over an hour and then later wrote his name over and over. This is major progress becasue was refusing to write his name even as soon as right before winter break and I can't remember the last time he spent an hour doing anything except watching tv.
When they gave us the list of everything kids need to be doing or practicing by kindergarten I realize Erik was doing everything on the list except sitting for long periods of time. He is even trying to learn how to read right now. So he might not be excelling in writing, but his interest is in other developmental areas.
There are meetings galore until school starts this summer and all Carl and I can do is keep an open mind about our child, make sure he is enrolled in all the programs to keep his options open to make the most educated decision we can come August. For now I am done stressing about it and talking about it. Of course the next time a mom asks me a question about it at the park or in school I can't be rude and say, I refuse to discuss this further. I'll kindly answer the question and try to change the subject.
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